What Makes you Tick?

What Makes you Tick?
By Hildegard Gmeiner
© 2006 copyright Hildegard Gmeiner

For the longest time I had no clue what made me tick. When I was forced to ask myself this question, the following transpired. Decades of living an illusionary existence based on conditioned responses alone were taking its toll. What appeared to be the ideal life on the outside was one of quiet desperation on the inside. I was living in a golden cage of my own, unconscious construction, designed to maintain appearances, while my soul was struggling for my attention.
Then one day, the life I had once known collapsed like a house of cards. Everything I had once believed in, and had given me a frame of reference, dissolved. My body was severely ill. I was heartbroken and my spirit was weak.
Weighed down by self-criticism, anger, blame, and self-pity, I was stuck in a seemingly hopeless situation. My mind rushed about in circles, yet it couldn’t come up with any constructive resolutions to the issues at hand. Finally, with nowhere else to turn, I put pencil to paper. In time many new insights came to me through my journal.
There is a saying: ‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear!’
When I eventually became humble enough to ask for guidance, my teachers appeared in a variety of shapes and sizes. They were from both the physical and the non-physical reality. They also showed up in form of books, advertisements, messages on milk cartons and transport trucks. The universe seemed to be magically trying to rub in the messages I was too stubborn to accept, until I finally got them. In time all of this brought me to higher altitudes, from which to view things. Now I was able to make different and conscious choices, giving my life a new direction.
During the shift from seeing myself as a victim of circumstance, to accepting myself as the creator of my very own reality, it became obvious that I had to detoxify my mind, as well as my body to make room for my spirit.
It was time to discard the fear-based thoughts and feelings and consciously adopt those of self-respect and self-love. During this process, however, many layers of fear based issues and traumas had to be addressed. Over time one becomes freer, healthier, and ever so much lighter.
Feelings are the tell tales of where we are at in life. Begin by taking note whether your feelings are fear based or those of love.
Guilt, shame, blame, jealously, self-criticism and judgement of others, feelings of none worthiness, or not-good-enoughness are fear-based feelings. They were all too familiar to me for the most part of my earlier years. Acceptance of self and others, empathy, compassion, and unconditional acceptance of what is, are some of the love-based feelings we can choose.
Once we are able to understand what we are feeling and why, we can then make a conscious effort to transform them. In so doing we are recalibrating our body’s energy field, enabling us to attract self-respecting people and mutually satisfying opportunities.
Once we are no longer seeing everything tinted through the victim lenses, we become open to give freely and receive easily. Then life no longer has to be a struggle. I believe God never intended it to be one in the first place.
Acknowledging the good God within and putting forth our God given talents, ultimately improves life on all levels. Simultaneously we are contributing to the greater good of all, doing our part to enhance the universal puzzle of creation. Consciously choosing the love vibration truly makes life magical.

Hildegard is a writer, speaker, and consultant to those who are interested in raising their awareness of how to create a life, guided by the inner wisdoms of the soul, rather than being driven by societal conditioning of the left brain alone.